Sunday, July 1, 2012

Skyrim Food: Apple Cabbage Stew

Pardon me while I stop mid-fight to eat 20 bowls of Stew.

Apple Cabbage Stew.  Sounds tasty, yeah?  Well evidently in Skyrim the only seasoning anyone uses is Salt.  That's fine if you're living in a fantasized medieval Nordic land, but for the rest of us non-Stoics with more than 2 tastebuds who don't actually like eating raw dog meat and mammoth snout, getting this recipe to the Tasty Place was tricky.

The more posts we do, the more Gwen and I feel like what makes our site special is our overwhelming (some would say unhealthy) obsession with canon.  A lot of food blogs are written by cool, well-balanced people with interesting interpretations on recipes.  We're not those people. 

We actually debated making a common version of this stew that exists in the real world.  There was discussion about things like chicken stock, onions, thyme, red wine; ingredients that would make it conventionally tasty and easy to make. 

Easy?  Conventional?  Non-Canon?  BLASPHEMY!!

I  have a giant monkey brain that I use to think through creative problems.  Three ingredients?  No seasoning but salt?  No problem.  Chicken stock is for the weak.

Liberties were taken with the quantities and preparations of the three main ingredients, but no additional foods or seasonings have been added.  The final redaction is a riff on traditional Northern European sauerkraut dishes.  Sauerkraut (preserved cabbage) would be a very likely preparation in Skyrim.

Ingredients: Apple, Cabbage, Salt.

  • 3 or 4 Sweet Apples, like Honeycrisp or Red Delicious
  • 2 lb Salt-Cured Sauerkraut, Canned sauerkraut won't do.  Get the naturally cured stuff in the refrigerator section at the store made with Cabbage and Salt.
  • 4 Cups Apple Juice or Apple Cider, The sweeter, the better; you're not going to add any sugar.
  • Salt to taste
Found these authentic Skyrim apples in a barrow. They look like they'd been there for a couple millennia.

Directions
  1. Empty the sauerkraut into a strainer, rinse and drain well.  Squeeze out extra moisture with your hands.
  2. Dice all but one of the apples
  3. Add the drained sauerkraut, apple juice and diced apples to a large pot and simmer over low heat for 3.5 hours
  4. Dice the final apple and add it to the stew
  5. Simmer another 30 minutes or until the stew is a nice dark golden color.
  6. Salt to taste

It's actually pretty good - it's a crunchy sweet-n-sour hot dish that can double as a side to pork. It's also vegan.  The sauerkraut absorbs up the sugars from the apples and apple juice and it mellows out the tang of the kraut.  The longer you cook it, the more caramelized the stew will become, and the sweeter and darker it will get.



20 comments:

  1. I'm going to have to try this...

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  2. Thank you thank you thank you so much.
    Serving this at my next Dungeons and Dragons get together or birthday party. Thank you so much for this.

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  3. I was very, VERY skeptical about this, but it turned out to be a great dish. Washed it down with some Nord Ale as well (OK, so it was Flying Dog, but it's the next best thing)!

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  4. MORE Skyrim Food!!! I love ALL of your recipes!! Keep them coming! I really want to know how the Elsweyr Fondue turns out... and I'd love to see a Horker Stew and a Boiled Creme Treat (would that be some kind of creme brulee? )

    I love your takes on Talen-Jei's cocktails... I just need to find where to get chipotle powder in Australia...

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    1. Nyaw... thanks! If you've got any Mexican shops in Australia, that's a good place to start for Chipotle powder. Otherwise, try mail order from Amazon.com (they can import into Australia, right?).

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  5. They might not import food items; quarantine and all that... I think I'll have to look for Mexican shops. Thanks for your help!

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  6. I made a big o' pot of it a few months back. Delicious except it had a couple extras. Sweet red onions, sweet corn. 4 and a half pounds of cabbage and about 13 of sweetest apples you can buy. Great.

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    1. That sounds excellent, as well. I have a batch stewing as I type...without your extras :-(
      Already started it.

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  7. As another fictional food blogger, I admire and applaud your dedication to Canon. It's a pet peeve with me, and you're doing it right! :)

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    1. Thanks for calling out your appreciation. We try to keep it real. Real CANON, I mean!

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  8. i made this using fresh cabbage and red delicious apples. i sauteed the cabbage to make it easier to cook, i cut one red del apple in half and sauteed it with the cabbage. i added the apple juice to the stew components and the rest of the diced apple. i paired this with some chunks of smoked pork i had which added a subtle smoked flavor on top of the sweet yet salty flavor the stew already had. all in all amazing flavor thanks for the recipe cant wait to try the rest, especially the cliff racer :D. well now i'm off to traverse across skyrim whilst enjoying a nice warm bowl of stew

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  9. Freakin Awesome dude!!! but...can i make it without sauerkraut?
    because i think it's apple and cabbage, so apple and cabbage only will be okay.
    advice please

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    1. If you're eating it, you can make it with whatever you want. The sauerkraut will make it richer, and give it better depth of flavor - just apple and cabbage may be kinda bland. But by all means, use whatever you've got! Let us know how it turns out.

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  10. You made a big show about being canon and then you used sour kraut and apple juice. If you're really going to follow the Skyrim recipe you've got to use one whole green head of cabbage exactly like in the game, one whole red apple, and one unspecified pile of salt! There is no apple juice in Skyrim, and don't go saying that there is imaginary apple juice in Skyrim because there are apples so theoretically... No! There is no actual in game graphical representation of apple juice or way of juicing apples to use apple juice as stock therefore water must be used like any good minimalist camper would have in the Nord's homeland. One red apple, one green head of cabbage, and a pile of salt of an unspecified amount simmered in water. Why am I so angry about this you ask? Too much skooma.

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    1. Oh man, you must've been hitting the low-grade stuff from Bravil. I hear they cut it with skeever poison and void salts - that'll fry anyone's brain. You gotta get the good stuff direct from Ma'dran. That cat is a skooma wizard, I tellya - and the first one's free.

      Or, y'know... you could just make the stew with plain cabbage and that'd be fine too.

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  11. i totally gotta try this stuff im still a horrible cook but im trying to get better so an easy dish like this should help i hope

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  12. and yes my real name is Kharjo yes im named after a Skooma dealer and yes my dad is obsessed with Skyrim like me and he insisted that my name should be Kharjo and well here speaks Kharjo....

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  13. This dish looks amazing and i bet its gonna taste good with Skooma! btw heres a quick non alcoholic Skooma recipe:ingredients:Sugar,Honey,Milk,Chili powder to add a spice to it Directions:pour a load of sugar into a glass and then pour enough honey to near turn the sugar fully brown and then pour the milk and put a teaspoon of chili powder or two if you want a spicier drink still im going to make Skooma and then make This Apple Cabbage Stew and i bet ill have the best breakfast Lunch and Dinner ever yes im a Skooma addict lol it will get you hooked no joke skooma is addictive somehow still im eager to try this Stew+Skooma!

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  14. speaking of Skyrim im off to play Skyrim and get loaded with Skooma in real life and on the game!!! and ill make sure to eat a couple bowls of Apple Cabbage Stew while im getting high on Skooma (in game)

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